R.R.isms

Now I'm sure that each and every one of us has had our share of funny teachers....You know the ones who do those idiotic antics in class that make you start snickering as soon as they turn around. But now and then there come these totally CLASSIC pieces of art that make boring, un-attendable classes worth attending!!

One such fine masterpiece teaches us a subject called 'Money And THE Financial System'. Lets call him RR...won't tell ya the whole (W-H-O-L-E) name coz God Forbid he comes trolling around here, then I'll be dead meat.You must be wondering about the funnies in the last line....don't worry, just sit back and start reading and you'll understand it all!! :D

So here it is.....here comes the much-cherished, much-painstakingly prepared list of crap our dear RR has come up with in the past few months that we've had the honour of having him teach us.It may give you a heart attack to read the stuff he's said...( coz sometimes he can get sooooooooo wonky) So hold on to your seats, dear readers....and BEWARE..

THE LIST:


1)RR: Please be patient. By that I mean you must have patience. Of course, I don't mean you should be a patient. (In Amiya's tute class)
Ooooooooh how caring

2) (He has divided the entire class into various groups & each group has to submit a report on their respective topics. So this one group had managed to impress him and....)
RR: So now the ball is in their court. Of course, there is no ball and there is no court. It's just a manner of speaking.
OMG such vital info....

3) RR:I am talking about an industrial plant, not a real plant. You know the ones that breathe.
Really sir? For a minute I actually got confused. Thank you so much for clarifying.

4) RR: Chakravorty Committee was set up in 1985. Jayant, (An unfortunate soul who happened to be looking up at that time) when were you born?
Jayant: Urm..1986, sir.
RR: See, you weren't even born then.
WHAT??

5) RR:Since you were not available to me 13-14 years back, I have no control over your thought process.
Egad! We are just pieces of meat, ready for sale.....

6) RR: What does Tarun (Another unfortunate soul) do in Ecosoc (Our college economics society)??
Amiya (A brave soul): Sir, he is involved in all aspects, in the whole of Ecosoc.
RR: You mean whole, as in the W-H-O-L-E of Ecosoc...
Our teachers are as DIRTY as us.

7) Vidur: Yes sir, there are private autos in Chennai.
RR: Really. This is very amusing to me.
Not 'this is a surprise'...not even 'this amuses me' but...

8) XYZ (A student): Sir, I think you missed this point.
RR: Yes, I deliberately left it out because I wanted to test you..
Aaaaaaaaah he never makes mistakes, you see!!!

9) RR:If you cannot answer a question you will be embarrassed. Fine.
But if you get embarrassed then I will get embarrased. Ooooooooooook .
And then society will make a fun of us..
I swear, I'm gonna gag any minute.

10) RR:I cannot insult you by giving you something easy in the quiz. Please insult us. Atleast we'll pass that way.
It should be something that you can attack. Huh?
Something that strikes you. You want the questions to hit us?!!?!?

11)RR:If you are the governor of RBI, which you might be one day, ...(Haan haan, dukaan khol kar baithne jitna aasaan hota hai na.) then how will you bring in money?
XYZ (A brave student trying to answer): Uh! sirrr........
RR: You can't ask your employees to sell tomatoes and potatoes to earn revenues.
XYZ thinking....When did I say that?

12) RR:A stitch in time saves nine. But what are you doing here? This is just a loose rope.
XYZ thinking....How do those sentences connect?

13) RR:When both of yous set ups the plant. (The industrial one)
Aaj 's' free mein mil rahe thhe so I'm using em so liberally.

14) RR:There was a lot of hue and cry about it. Not that people were actually crying. It's just that they were reacting vehemently.
Seriously??

15) RR:If you like something then you say this is of a GOLDEN ERA. (We do?) Actually there is no gold around. It is just a saying.
WOW!!

16) RR:If you want to make a quick buck or a fast buck, (Choose the word you like the best) by hook or by crook...(Aaj toh mein dictionary learn karke aaya hoon).
I am using these phrases because you use them and understand them...
Achhaaaa?

17) (He had asked us to make a flowchart and it was spread horizontally)
RR: I hope you have drawn it in the 'landscape' mode and not the 'portrait' mode.
And I also hope that you haven't made a real landscape, just used the landscape mode.
So hopeful.

18) XYZ: Sir, how do you spell 'PROFLIGACY'?
RR: I don't spell it because I do not teach you English.
Avoided the Q....Oooooooohh...He didn't know the spelling himself!!! hee hee!!

19) RR: Austerity measures....now don't ask me the spelling of 'Austerity' also, because I will have to become an English school teacher for that.
He didn't know the spelling of this one either!!

20) (Asks a student something & her reply turns out to be not entirely correct)
So RR: Ankita (Poor thing!!), you were partially true, and I have told you before that 'partially true' is 'false' and 'partially false' is also 'false'. Do you realize your mistake?
Ankita: Yes, sir (Thinking....No sir )
RR: That is very good because now you are on the path to perfection. After all, we only want truth... the absolute truth.... that's what we're seeking.
I pity thee Ankita, for unknowingly treading the path of perfection!!!



OK that's it folks....for now.
Die...die laughing.
Wait (with bated breath) for Part 2.



PS: I know I must have missed a million other fantastic R.R.isms. So all the people who know the true identity of RR [:P] are invited to tell me what I forgot!
PPS: Isn't this a really, really long post!!



PPPS: Happy Budday Vidur!!!